Thanks for the question, Kat! The clearest rules we see are usually about safety or about the parents' own sanity. Something like: no substances in the house, and if that gets broken, you're not sleeping here that night (and the parents have to actually mean it). Or: if you're living here rent free, you're doing something 25ish hours a week, job or school or volunteering, and if that stops, rent starts.
Compare that to "we want you back in school in the fall," which is an expectation. The only things to do with an expectation are say it out loud honestly and then handle your own feelings when it doesn't happen.
Can you give examples of rules you see and consequences - your distinction between expectations and rules is a really good one.
Thanks for the question, Kat! The clearest rules we see are usually about safety or about the parents' own sanity. Something like: no substances in the house, and if that gets broken, you're not sleeping here that night (and the parents have to actually mean it). Or: if you're living here rent free, you're doing something 25ish hours a week, job or school or volunteering, and if that stops, rent starts.
Compare that to "we want you back in school in the fall," which is an expectation. The only things to do with an expectation are say it out loud honestly and then handle your own feelings when it doesn't happen.