About Not Therapy’s Newsletter
Stuck isn’t sick.
If the young adult in your life can’t get out of bed, can’t hold a job, can’t leave the house, or can’t talk to you without it ending in conflict, you have probably already tried a lot of things.
A therapist. Maybe sprinkled in some medication. Maybe even dabbled in a school change, an IOP, a coach, a different therapist. An summer “internship” program in Costa Rica. Maybe several of each.
And your kid is still stuck.
We think there’s a reason for that. A lot of what gets called sickness in young adults this age is actually just “stuckness.” And stuckness is a relationship problem, not a diagnosis. It’s solved by the right person showing up in your kid’s actual life. Not by another clinical room.
Who we are
Hi, I’m Hayley. My co-founder Colin and I were the stuck young adults once. We were sent to wilderness and residential treatment as teenagers. We watched the people we love either build real lives or not survive their twenties, and we spent the next decade figuring out what made the difference.
We started Not Therapy in 2024 to be the kind of support we wish we’d had as teenagers coming out of “troubled teen” treatment, and as young adults just figuring out how to actually build a life. We work with stuck 18-to-24 year olds and their families, every day, in their actual lives.
This newsletter is written from my perspective inside that experience. It's also written, very deliberately, as advocacy. For the young adult in the room when their parent is reading. A lot of what we share is the truth your kid would tell you themselves if they could find the words.
And if you’re anything like us, you still get stuck sometimes. That’s not a disqualifier from you helping your young adult do this work. It’s the qualifier.
Why subscribe
Every week (or close to it, life happens), you’ll get a piece that does at least one of these things:
Specific truths your kid would tell you if they could find the words. Less "here's what young adults are feeling these days," more "this is the exact thing your kid is not saying out loud."
Reframes of what's been called sickness in young adults this age. What "lazy" actually looks like up close. What "avoidant" actually feels like from the inside. What the diagnosis doesn’t capture.
Cultural moments parents are already hearing about, decoded. Documentaries, lawsuits, viral takes, legislation, whatever's happening. We'll tell you what it actually means for your family.
Actual frameworks. When we tell you a thing works, we'll tell you how, why, and what to do tomorrow. We are not a wellness newsletter.
The occasional (frequent) overshare, when it earns its place.
If the young adult in your life is stuck, or you’re worried about them being stuck, you can subscribe below. Forward it to one other parent who needs to read it.
Join the crew
We’re building a community of parents who are willing to look at this whole thing a little differently.
Not parents who’ve given up on conventional approaches. Parents who've tried them, found gaps, and are open to a different way of thinking about what their kid actually needs. Parents who can sit with the idea that maybe the diagnosis isn’t the deepest truth about their kid. Parents who’d rather have the harder conversation than the comfortable one.
If that’s you, you’re in the right place. Subscribing is the first step. Some of the conversation will happen in the comments. More of it will happen in the Not Therapy for Parents Facebook Group, which you can join below.
To learn more about the our company and coaches behind this newsletter, visit nottherapycoaching.com.
